What can you do as manager?
It is important to be aware of how your co-workers feel, as part of the work on work environment. Increased remote working means a change in work environment and risk of isolation. This can be a risk factor for a person with a previous history of alcohol abuse, who suffers from mental ill health or who is subjected to threats and violence. In such circumstances – increased remote working – managers may need a more frequent contact with their co-workers than usual to be able to notice early signs of ill health. By being observant and daring to ask questions you can contribute to reduce the risk for a co-worker being abused in their home environment, which in turn may affect their ability to work. Awareness of domestic violence primarily means maintaining a perspective of staff policy focusing on concern for the co-worker.
Warning signs
The following conditions may be signs of a co-worker being subjected to violence or threats of violence. There are no single signs or symptoms as firm indicators of such exposure. Nevertheless, examples of signs that should lead to questions being asked are:
- Recurrent short-time absences
- Decreased capacity and work performance
- Long-term leaves of absence owing to illness without known cause
- Difficulties in changing schedule or switching work shifts
- Difficulties in participating in activities outside work hours
- The partner always drops off and collects from work
- Frequent phone contacts with the partner during the work shift
- Extensive responsibility for home and partner/children
- The partner is overprotective and controlling
- Lack of socialising with extended family and friends
- Recurrent pain caused by unidentified problems
- Anxiety, depression, insomnia, eating disorders or drug abuse.
When you suspect exposure to violence – a dialogue with the co-worker
If you suspect that a co-worker is subjected to violence you should talk about your suspicions with the co-worker and ask how they are, how work is and what support might be needed.
If there is immediate danger, you should take care of the exposed co-worker and ask direct questions on whether s/he has been beaten, pushed, kicked etc. Measures should be taken in accordance with the situation.
Should the exposed co-worker need a rehabilitation investigation, there are many possibilities for you as manager to ask questions on health, home conditions and relationships in a natural way. Such questioning signals that you see the co-worker. Asking questions and interfering in time is to care.
Some things to think about before and during the conversation:
- Remember that you do not need to know everything to ask questions and introduce a conversation. However, it is important that you let the person know that support and help is available. The conversation as such is important to the co-worker and for them to experience a safe work place.
- Choose a quiet place where you will not be disturbed and can discuss in a respectful way based on what you have seen and noticed. If the meeting is digital, ensure that you will not be disturbed during the conversation. Try to ensure that the co-worker can take the call alone and undisturbed.
- Prepare yourself to accept and handle the answers you might get
- Be careful to emphasise that you ask the questions out of concern.
- Remember that a good reception is a requisite for the person subjected to feel trust and to dare to communicate their exposed situation.
- Listen actively, ask questions and believe in the co-worker’s story. Do not question that which the co-worker tells you. A person subjected to violence often feels guilt and shame. Such feelings will be enhanced if you question what has happened. Emotions for the perpetrator are often double, there might be still be affection and perhaps the couple have children together.
- Consider how you express yourself, and what your body language says about you. People in crises can react very differently, and you should be sensitive to the person’s needs.
- Book a time for a follow-up dialogue. Several meetings may be necessary since it can be difficult for a person subjected to violence to explain their situation. It is also important to follow up on the situation for the affected co-worker.
You can introduce the conversation by stating that you have noticed that your co-worker has a changed behaviour and signals that something is not right. Explain what you have seen, what makes you concerned or worried and what consequences you see at/on work. Emphasize that you have the meeting out of concern.
The following questions might be useful during the talk:
- How to you like it at work?
- If the co-worker rarely participates in joint activities: Do you get on with your colleagues?
- Do you live or have you lived with someone?
- How does the scheduling of work hours function with your home situation?
- How do you feel about working from home?
- Are you taking most of the responsibility for house, home, partner and children?
- Lately, have you been subjected to something that made you feel frightened, worried or violated?
- Has anyone treated you badly, physically or psychologically at work or at home?
- Have you ever been pushed, threatened, beaten etc.?
- Are you frightened of anyone?
- Another way to ask questions is to describe how violence can be expressed, and then ask a follow-up question regarding whether the person has experienced this. Example: People can be subjected to different types of negative actions from the person with whom they live. This could be hitting, kicking, and controlling e.g. phone, email or economy, deciding which clothing to wear and which friends to see, breaking possessions, threatening or committing sexual activities with which you are not comfortable. Is this something you recognise/or have experienced?
- Based on my view of the situation, I am worried about you; is there anything I can do?
- What would you like me to do now that I know of your situation?
If the co-worker does not want to tell
It is not uncommon for the person subjected to deny the violence. In such cases, it is important not to pressurize or force the co-worker to tell. If the co-worker does not want to tell, s/he does not have to. You have achieved a great deal if you show that you believe the co-worker if and when s/he confides in you.
Links to other pages on domestic violence
Domestic violence (first page)
What is domestic violence?
How common is domestic violence?
What are the consequences of domestic violence?
How do we proceed? Support from other actors
All information (pdf)